On the seventh day...

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me seven 'ssemblies a-swayin', six parties waiting, fiiiiiive rubber bouggies, four winds a'whipping, three trips to church, two whiny kids and a house outside the city.

Wanna know my least favorite phrase today? "Some assembly required" or my new favorite "Adult assembly required." The former means putting this toy together will test your patience and endurance as well as muscle strength. The latter means that putting this toy together will test your free will, your religion, life as you know it as well as requiring superhuman strength. I know well of such things, too well, and still have many more to attempt. Last night I put together a storage bin organizer for Ollie's room, it had "some assembly required" and honestly, that one gave me a blister from screwing in by hand 24 wood screws into pre-drilled holes that were pre-drilled crooked and too small. Glory! Then, came the Disney Princess Glitter doll house, it had "adult assembly required" and oh dear, plastic flimsy "golden" pieces that would not "pop in" as the directions stated, the fear of then breaking the goofy flimsy "golden" pieces when trying to force them in, then a sheet of 27 stickers - where only 17 of which had assigned places to be stuck --- then leaving the putter-together-er at a loss and confounded as to where the last 10 stickers go - wondering is a page of directions missing, or did I randomly miss 10 stickers --- causing your mind to twist and turn and become obsessed with finding where those last golly-boppin' stickers go! But, I digress. I did come to my senses and decided that my 4 year old little girl would probably just have fun putting on the last 10 evil stickers herself and even if I did get the flimsy "golden" pieces to "pop in" they would just pop out during play anyhow...so, world began turning again on its axis and time went forward...the world was a better place and I went to bed at 11:50pm where my dear sweet precious Bubba was already snoring atop the heating pad because he'd already hurt his back from previous nonsensical holidayish putting-togethering from the weekend. Honestly, I've considered hiring teenagers from church to do the "assemblying"...wouldn't be considered slave labor or child labor or sweat shop stuff, would it?

So, I'm thankful, wait, yes, I am thankful, for a nice warm bed and that come Christmas morning my kids will enjoy/destroy these "assembly required" nightmares and in the end, it will be worth it. It will be. And I'll smile and enjoy the wonder on their faces - and I'll remember then like I am now that it's not about the gifts - it's so all about the greatest gift ever given to me, to my kids, my family, everybody...Jesus, without Him, I would be nothing...and would have no opportunity to even attempt "assembly required" gifts.